I too like to take my holidays one at a time. I will do some Christmas decorating as weather allows after this weekend. I like to start with winter things like snow men and hold off on Santa till we're closer to the actual holiday. It'll be interesting to see what my new neighborhood looks like.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone wherever you are, whatever you choose to do. - Pat

Karen, I heard from Kellan. He very nicely gave me permission to use his art work. It's a very cool, wintry piece.

We have friends from P.I. stopping by tomorrow afternoon for a visit. Our first official visitors! then tomorrow evening in dribs and drabs we will have 4 more family members come for a few days. I'll be pooped by the time Friday night comes but it'll be the good kind.

My son Rafi said it sounds like college dorms for old people! That pretty much captures it.

Here in ME the Assisted Living Facilities are primarily not nursing homes and not afiliated with a hospital. The one you describe is very much like where both of our mother's lived for a while. Lovely private little apartments with optional dining areas that look much like a gracious dining room in a hotel somewhere. Many local entertainers and functions are held for the edification of the clientele. Many are still driving heaven help us and have garages and storage facilities. They're pretty nice. For me the biggest downer was not having your own "front door". Though the place my grandmother lived in for years in Milton, did have "front door"s to all the apartments. Very nice.

Yesterday our poetry group met in the Assisted Living Home where one of the women now lives. I couldn't believe how nice it was--a cozy, warm, nicely furnished house. She had her own room with a little garden outside. I said I'm moving there when I get to that age! It's so different from the nursing homes I've seen, which always seem kind of shabby, depressing, and stinky. They arranged a room for us to have our meeting in. We had a huge table loaded with refreshments. Some of the group met a little earlier so they could have lunch there, but I passed on that cuz I was imagining nursing home food like tasteless chicken, boiled potatoes, and jello......

Karen, I just checked out your son's site, too. He has an amazing imagination. I showed Avi the site (cuz he does graphic arts on shirts), and he liked the drawings, too.

Don't worry, Patti, I'm not sitting here grading you all on your spelling!

BRRRRRRRRRR..........
High in Springfield today was 20 with a cold wind blowing. I went out shopping to find my grandchildren snowsuits and boots so they will be able to enjoy the lovely winter weather in Vermont and Connecticut. I am snuggled under my fleecy blanket watching Food Network Thanksgiving cooking....such excitement!

I tried looking for an e-mail address on the site and didn't see it but that doesn't mean it isn't there. I'll send my e-mail adress to you through outlook. Thanks - Pat

Wow Karen i like Kellan's work very much. I was trying to find an email address so I could ask his permission to use his work as desktop graphic on my comp. I particularly like the Land of Frost. It seems quite apro po for right now. (think I spelled that wrong) Hope Lori doesn't notice, she always told me I was so good at spelling. .................

karen, kellan's work is so good and he has done lots of good work. he got it from somewhere- patience and grit.

Well, you learn something every day. I never heard that expression, but maybe I just don't listen to the radio enough. When I'm in the car, I usually just listen to one of my CD's--unless I'm in the mood for silence, which I am a lot of the time!

The sad part of these fires is that we are only hearing about the "stars" homes that are effected by them...Rob Lowe talking on Oprah...Christoper Lloyd...all that destruction is sad for all. Air quality, beautiful wildlife and land compromised in part by human error. Human lives fighting these huge fires is scary too...

Gas prices here are below $2...first time in forever. Sad for the people who booked their oil prices in at $4.89 a gallon and are stuck in those contracts. Someone is going to be making money somewhere! And its not the general public.

It is 17 degrees here this morning...very cold yesterday with the winds. HOpefully, those winds won't be blowing for recess today! Found my thermals!!
Have a good day everybody. Happy Thoughts...............

What is a CarBQ? Burning cars? They said one of the fires was caused by a bonfire. Our cars were covered with white ash.

Thanks for all the good thoughts about my surfer score friends! Doing it was actually very enervating.

So the party was this a.m. A rousing success! We had 8 ladies arrive. Several who had moved here in the last year and had not met one another. A couple who said they used to do this sort of thing but for some reason stopped. I imagine it's because so many of their neighbors left. Just a thought. There were moms with children who were a common age and did'nt know it. So we did a good thing on several levels.

pat, great surfer score. i think that having the party puts that one (never turn your back on the ocean) pretty high up there for a score, but you get to pick. it is a good time to take the surfer rules test after you have done a ton of personal work and change. it often shows that things are quite good even though you probably feel like you just got hit by a beer truck :-)

karen, i am glad that i do not have to do a daily drive in traffic. good luck getting to court. i also like how the price of gas is causing some people to slow down a little (me too).

Lori, do they report CarBQs in LA on the morning commuter radio stations? They do in Connecticut. Brave Kathi survived rain and CarBQs. By the way, I can tell you about a wild place to get a burger in San Diego if you ever head south. I also can tell you why the seahorse tatoo on the waitress's arm is upside down. It has to do with what she is doing when the seahorse is right side up. The tail is wrapped around a chicken cuz she likes 'em. She says you can imagine it to be whatever bird you like. I didn't really get that part. It looks like a chicken. What are you guys smoking in SoCal?

I'm glad to hear from you Lori, we all are. Too bad about the BBQ. ick.........

Driving in the pouring rain is definitely an accomplishment. At least you had something to look forward to at the end of the drive, Kathi.

Yes, Karen, we can smell the fires here. Smells like a barbecue (from animals getting burnt?). It's not right where we are, but it looks smoky at the horizon. They tell us to stay inside and keep the windows closed--and use the air conditioner.

Patti, you deserve a 10 for going through the surfers rules in public!

kathi, you know i travel plenty. driving to cheshire ct in the rain is an accomplishment. i have never seen a place that had me on the edge of my seat as much as going through connecticut in the rain. it can be like driving into the spray of an aerosol can. not fun, but your destination sounds good :-). i will be driving to providence at the end of this week. i better mount the winter tires.

karen, you are really making me re-think surfer rules with a scale that goes up to 12. this is disturbing. maybe you can help the judge re-think punishments for crimes committed. driving in morning traffic may be one that could be given out to the guilty crooks.

As everyone here knows, I am not very worldly nor do I travel much. So, I can proudly say that I drove to Cheshire CT this weekend all by myself in the pouring rain to find my daughters new house. I spent last night and today, visiting with my grandbabies (who really aren't babies any longer)...helping to unpack and make things easier for my daughter. All my children were together helping each other, which was very heartwarming to see. Now CT is the central location where we can
all meet...us being the furtherest away...but it is much much better then 13 hours on the road one way to see them.
I, too, saw your house picture Pat...and wish you much happiness in your new home!
Guess you have us all thinking Richard with your surfing rules!

Alrighty then, The Surfers' Rules

1. Have passion: Am I smiling? Since you ask, yes I am. give the girl an 8.
2. No dare, no flair: Have I joined the volunteers at the local library, inspired a knitting group at same and signed up for the local wreath decorating class? UhHuh. Again, 8.
3. Expect to wipeout: I'm going with shit happens here: Well, I still break into tears alot and have a lot of worry (among other things) that I won't see my "girls" anymore, so I give me a 5.
4. Never turn your back on the ocean: the Boy's Scout's Motto fits here I feel; expecting the unexpected and rolling with the punches; my neighbor across the street moved here in Aug. she has decided the WE need to have a getting to know you party. So we will, at 10 next Wed. Hope somebody besides us shows up! Score? help me!
5. Always look outside: It's been raining since we moved in for the most part. So I've enjoy the wow Christmasy feeling o discovery when I open incorrectly marked boxes. I'm still looking for my cutting boards. They were with the bread machine. go figure.... Score me a 7 here
6. Move before it moves you: That was interesting, I'm not sure I fully apply this, but I have to say, I think I've jumped if not dived into the deep end or certainly I've tried to so...I'll give myself 6.
7. Never surf alone: I am delighted to say that I never surf alone, any more. *8

Richard, never doubt that I love you. I began to love you one prom night when you called and asked me to the the prom. You certainly made me laugh over and over through the years and were if you don't know it, a constant friend. - Patty

Wow, I didn't know the surfer rules had so much history behind them! I don't know if I want to give myself a score right now, but that's good that you periodically evaluate your life. I try to do that every year on Yom Kippur. I can't say it changes much, though. The same things need improving every year.

Patti, I got the picture of your new house. It looks beautiful. Enjoy it! You changed your email address, too?

hi lori. the surfer rules have an interesting twelve year heritage with me. while i was attending uvm (the second time) and was working on my masters degree in business, the vp of ford motor company's global purchasing came to speak to us. he controlled something like $4.5 billion in annual purchases being made under his span of control. the list of countries around the world that do not control that level of annual tax revenues to bring management and change to their countries is not a short one. the ford purchasing big dog was on a transcontinental tour promoting the make-over second-coming of taurus. in hindsight, that model is looking good and promising compared to the road that suv's have caused the big three to travel. we all know that ford says, "quality is job one," right? well, the ford purch big d pressed this point and he described the surfers rules. he described how the surfer rules can be used as a summary analysis of quality. his point was to say that the quality of work, accomplishments, and direction at ford could be evaluated by seeing how these things match up to the surfers rules. i quickly scribbled the surfer rules down. i am a good note taker :-) and i checked with my professor after the fact to be sure that i captured them correctly. i have looked, but have not found the surfer rules listed anywhere else.

that is the beginning of the story. from there, the surfer rules have been part of an interesting journey for me. i use the surfer rules to periodically judge the quality of my life. i actually score myself on a seventy point scale every few months. what i do is to imagine a ten point scale for each surfer rule. for example- i consider "have passion" and think about the level of passion i would like to ideally have in my life. i set my own scale from zero (no passion) to ten (all of the passion that i could ever want). my scale is surely different than what another person would pick. then i go through the other six surfer rules, i consider my basis for personal rating, and i record my answers. for me, a strong and positive score is anything above 50 (average individual surfer rule scores at about 7 or 8). i also look to see if all my scores are similar or if there are gaps. for example, it is difficult to get a high score for "expect to wipeout." how can anyone boldly say that they are ready to get run over by a train? also, "never surf alone" has been one where i would like to score a ten, but i have had a lot of trouble getting that score up to the level of the others (maybe, omer has a similar experience). so the overall score tells you how things are going in general and an analysis of gaps provides some ideas for where personal growth can help.

here are my "surfer rule" scores that i would give myself right now.

1. Have passion- 8
2. No dare, no flair- 8
3. Expect to wipeout- 4
4. Never turn your back on the ocean- 7
5. Always look outside- 8
6. Move before it moves you- 8
7. Never surf alone - 8

this is a good score of 51. it is also a tight grouping with the exception of being prepared to wipeout. this gap tells me what i should focus on. my poor score for "expect to wipeout" is due to the fears i have about the tough economic straits we are in, having tons of college loans for my kids, and the fact that i am not getting any younger.

you should score yourself and see if it tells you something.

Richard, I showed Omer, my surfing son, those surfing rules. He liked them--and asked where you got them. The only one he doesn't always follow is the one about not surfing alone--which makes me really nervous. He said it's never so long, though--maybe 15 or 20 minutes in the morning until people start coming or in the evening if he stays in the water a little longer than the others.

Everything seems to be blowing up here. Fires breaking out all over, and last night a helicopter kept circling around looking for someone (after we heard gunshots that sounded like fireworks). And besides all that, 2 cockroaches suddenly scurried across our floor. I was used to seeing them all the time in Israel, but never here. Seemed like some kind of sign!

Pat, change can be so hard- especially before it has happened. "Darkest before the dawn" comes to mind.

Here are the Surfers Rules which are the words that I try to live by.
1. Have passion (the meaning of this is clear)
2. No dare, no flair (the meaning of this is clear)
3. Expect to wipeout (this is similar to the boy scout motto- be prepared)
4. Never turn your back on the ocean (keep an eye out for threatening conditions)
5. Always look outside (stay alert and aware for new opportunities)
6. Move before it moves you (if you are not already paddling when a good wave comes, it will go right by you)
7. Never surf alone (I hope you understand this one)

So maybe it's good to have low expectations. Then things turn out much better than you were expecting!

I wish I could take a picture of my cat right now. He decided that he needs to sit with me. Well, I am on my laptop sitting in my recliner. He jumped up over the computer to the right side of me..laying between my body and the arm of the chair..with my head on the edge of the computer...and he is purring loudly. Hes also prety warm so I guess I'll let him stay!
Hope everybody is well...Happy Vetrens Day...Happy thoughts........

That's awfully hard to watch your children being sad. Kevin too has separated from the woman he thought he would be with for his future. Funny way to say that but I hear him say he'll never marry but wants to spend his life with one woman. He's so sad and it's hard to be even only this far away when he wants to talk so much. The phone can be so awkward.

We are settling in nicely and I find I am happier than I expected to be. How about that...........

Thanks. I think things will work out for the best one way or another. You're right, Kathi, there's nothing we can do but love them and support them--though it's taken me a long time to learn not to make their pain my pain.

Its hard watching our children work out their lives. We want to take away the painful processes for them...but in the end can only offer our support and love. Hopefully things will work out for the best for Rafi and Kristen.

Oops, I pushed "publish post" and didn't write anything. What I meant to write is that we'll put politics aside and talk about other things. I always like to hear your take on things, Karen, and there's plenty to talk about besides politics.... like me feeling sad that my son Rafi and his wife, Kristine, are separating. They really love each other, but it's just not working for them. She has personal issues she has to take care of before she can be in a successful relationship. I feel sad, but also good because I think Rafi has a good, strong sense of himself now, and I trust him to make the right decisions whether that means being with her or without her.

I'm impressed at all you women sports fans. In high school I went to all those football and basketball games to see my friends, not to watch the game. I don't think I cared who won. But I did have fun playing my trumpet in the marching band at football games!

I'm going with my daughter soon to a gospel music performance--The Blind Boys of Alabama. I love that music.

Pat, I am glad that you are back on line with us! Sounds like you have things under control in Hampton!
My daughter and family are moving to Cheshire, CT next weekend!!! I am so excited that they are going to be 3 hours and not 13 hours away!! They decided just to rent to make sure this is where they'll want to stay. So guess where I'll be next weekend?? Hugging those Grandbabies!!! It is nice because they will be 1 1/2 or so from Suzanne and John in NYC...and Andrew and Amy go to CT to visit her grandmother, so they can now all get together somewhere other then my house!
The sun was shining a little bit ago, now it looks like rain...as long as its not snow....not ready yet!

I just couldn't stay awake but I told Dave not to say a word to me in the a.m so I could find out the good news on my own. Earth shattering and world changing. Wonderful.

So, boxes galore even with all the movers took away with them. all the room are just a bit smaller than we're used to I'm adjusting to that. Nothing major damaged but several small problems that the insurance with the company will cover.

What fun though, Varsity state soccer games take place right here in Hampden today with both the P.I. boys and girls playing for the title. Guess where I'll be?!

Okay, then break a champagne glass for me, too, Richard. So it's safe to say I'm really excited that Obama won?! I don't remember people being so passionate about any other election. Both sides have been really passionate about their own candidate--the McCain supporters I know hate Obama, and the Obama people definitely don't have many kind words for McCain and Palin, so I didn't want to offend anyone here. (Avoiding conflict as usual!). I think it's encouraging that Obama DOES get along with people who disagree with him. All the wars are caused by each side thinking they're right and the other side is wrong. It's never that clear in my opinion. Both sides are right and wrong. And now I'll leave politics to the politicians.....

well i can tell you how dangerous i got. at 10:00 when i could see which way the outcome was headed, i went to the store and bought a nice bottle of champagne. i popped it at 11:00 and sat by myself enjoying it until about 1:00. my frugal new england nature told me that the champagne would go bad if not finished, so i did. i woke up at 4:00 still sitting where i was at 1:00. the tv was still on and they were still partying in chicago. i smashed my champagne glass, yelled "mazel tov" to barack, and went to bed.

How dangerous can we get Lori?
We'll see how our "lives will change" for the better...one can only hope.

That's great, Kathi. I'm happy for you! Three hours is definitely do-able, even by yourself.

Is it too dangerous to talk about politics here?

Pat, Wishing you a wonderful moving experience! May you find joy and love in your new home.
Talking about moves: My daughter in NC is moving to Connecticut! I am so excited that my grandbabies are going to be 3 hours away and not 13! The have to be out of their house by 11/15. Neil is flying down to drive the truck up for them...and I will have to find my way to their new place to pick him up....and help unpack/babysit! I can't wait!! Wish them luck...I can't imagine packing up a house, 3 kids, husband and moving 500+ miles while taking Master Degree classes. Guess it helps that they are young! Kudos to my Southern son-in-law for moving up just before winter!

Wow these guys are working fast! We will be in the new house tomorrow afternoon. They'll deliver TH morning but they have almost everything on the truck already and it's only 3:09. they'll probably leave within the hour I think.

Dave is going down to the Dem headquarters tonight to watch the results come in and hang with some guy friends. I had a chance to join a couple of my girls this afternoon at lunch time for a quick so long. Our neighbors have been stopping in too.

Must be exciting to watch a movie being filmed. Any chance you can get an extra job?

karen, what fun that david d. and gimme moore are in town to film. it is funny that he did x-files and that she is like something from x-files, crossed with sex-files, crossed with excess-files. my guess is that bruce willis is still smokin' from whatever that was- but, hey, if it doesn't do you in, then it makes you stronger, right?

Keep us all posted on your new adventure! I am sure things will go smoothly.
Think positively!
It is cold here today..sunny but with a cold breeze. I was going to go out and finish the leaves but haven't yet..maybe in a bit.

Good luck from me, too. I hope everything works out the way you want it to. Change can be fun.

Moving van arrives tomorrow a.m. We're making chili for some friends for our last supper here tonight.

Then they might still be capable of squashing him like a bug if he's in the wrong kind of car. My son, Omer, seems to find the women here boring. Maybe he's not looking in the right places.

probably.

You mean the ones who only care what kind of car a man drives?

what he likes and misses most about LA may not be too big for you. i had the feeling he was thinking most about what he misses as he was describing tall strong women in rural north carolina who he suspects are capable of squashing him like a bug. it is just a guess, but i think it is the women in LA that he misses.

What does he miss in L.A.? It has its good points, but I still don't feel attached to this city.

wow lori, you and wendy are funsters. i did not go in the dark room where you feel interesting things and i am kicking myself for missing it. i also have not been to the winchester house. i have checked it out on-line and will make it a priority on my next visit. there is also a really nice japanese area in san francisco. there are some shops with furnishings that are especially nice. i met a friend of mine from LA, yesterday. He has just moved and is now living in far western north carolina. he says that he misses LA.

Wow, that's a long time to wait on line. I hope I won't have to wait that long. And that's supposed to be shorter than the line on election day?

By the way, Richard, I took one of your recommendations. Wendy and I went to the Exploratorium in San Francisco. It's a neat place. Did you go through the Tactile Dome? It was fun, but kind of scary to be in total darkness for 10 minutes--walking through narrow places, sliding, climbing. I felt a little claustrophic in there, but it was definitely worth experiencing! We didn't have time to go to the other places you mentioned, but we did go to the Winchester mystery house in San Jose. Have you been there? A really strange house with doors that lead to nowhere and tiny steps, really curvy, narrow hallways, etc. I wasn't expecting San Jose to be a pretty city, but Santana Row was really colorful and artistic-looking. Color wasn't what I was expecting to see in the hi-tech world. Anyway, it was really fun going on trains, seeing new things, walking all over, etc. etc. Wish I had more fun friends in L.A.

Patti, at least you have time to say good bye slowly to your friends and life in P.I., so you can get used to the idea of leaving.

Snow squalls here today too and incredible winds. Dave will be home in a couple of days and then the countdown really starts. Our paperwork has all be signed and sent off to the relocation company and we're ready for Monday a.m to close on the Hampden house.

We're going to avoid Halloween by meeting at a restaurant and then hiding out at home.

I've been knitting like crazy. Not having to go into work has meant I've been able to meet some friends downtown to knit while they're on their lunch hours. It's been fun catching up on some projects I haven't been able to finish. Plus our evening group has gotten so large that we can't even all speak with one another. So the smaller group is nice.

Hi Everybody,
I hope your week is going better. It has become cold here in Vermont. Snowshowers today...nothing on the ground in Springfield...but the kids at school were excited.
I wasn't...It is much to early for me...We don't even have all the leaves raked off the lawn! Richard, you might have some on the ground...keep it up North!

hi. thanks for your comments and thoughts about my stinky week behind me. this morning will be the first time people at work will be looking each other in the eye about our co-worker's death. i am sure that means many interuptions for me. of course, i don't mind. i just don't know anything, including knowing what to say. i agree with the view of suicide as a selfish act that has far reaching impact. i also know that some people are in lives that have become so painful that it leads to that place. it is all just so sad. anyway, i will put on my game face and try to get past it.

To answer something I think you asked about Lori. Hampden is approximately 5 miles south of Bangor. Close enough that Dave will will riding his bike to work when the weather allows. We were aiming for south of the city so that we'd get to camp and the boys more quickly. Dave's dad too. We have company coming for Thanksgiving, the boys, Jack, (dad) and Taylor, Dave's niece who is a freshman at Harvard.

Dave will be back this coming Friday night. Then he'll stay with me for our last week here. He's taking a full truck load and pulling a trailer down with him this trip. So all the gardening equipment and heavier house things, like gym equipment are gone as well as a lot of boxes we had packed up ourselves in preparation to show the house.

Richard, I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. There can't be understanding for those left behind.

I hadn't read about the burton situation but went to the web tonight and read about it. The cutting issue is a huge one for me. I've worked hard with a student who is only 11 and spends much of his time cutting. For him and for many county kids the "new cutting" is to use an eraser until you have broken through the skin for the bleed. It's horrible and I've caught him at it, it makes my stomach turn and my heart break. Too many 11 year olds have parole officers and court dates for the way they live.

I have a problem with suicide, too. We had it happen in our family and it is very very difficult to deal with. They have no idea of the aftermath to the ones left behind to pick up all the pieces.
One selfish (in my opinion) act leaves many unanswered questions..making one wonder if they missed the "signs" and what could have, should have been done to prevent such an event. I've never come up with the "answers". We just have to remember the good things.....

Lots of company at my house this weekend. Suzanne and John came up on Friday. Finally got the rest of all the wedding stuff out of my house! I made lots of food...including 2 apple pies, which were pretty tasty! Andrew and Amy came up last night. We played the game Apples to Apples for a couple of hours, and then they played Taboo...it was fun. Today was spent doing leaves...making cheese blintzes...cornbeef dinner..watching the Patroits win...and waving goodbye. Very quiet here now...need to work on those Halloween cards for my little kids...hope things are going better for everyone! Happy Thoughts............

I didn't know about the Burton thing (guess we don't get the news out here in L.A.!), but I agree with both of you.

Sorry to hear about your friend at work, Richard. I have a hard time understanding suicide. It seems like there are enough obstacles in life already, and no matter how desperate or depressed we feel, there's always the choice of doing something else, isn't there? Last night I went to a condolence evening at the house of a woman who is in my poetry group. Her husband died last Monday, after battling leukemia for a year. It was an evening of prayer and spiritual poetry--really emotional. I've never been to a "shiva" like that. People also told stories about Norm, the husband. I didn't know him, but his wife, Jean, is an amazingly strong and special person. People said Norm was a good listener, very empathic, and gave really good hugs. I was on the edge (and beyond the edge) of tears most of the evening just listening to how much love people had for Jean and Norm. And I was impressed that Norm cared enough to vote before he died.