Hi y'all

Got a note from Roland today, he's off the site for about a week so may not know that his posts made it. Life many of us he got an error messge so he said he'd check back later.

thanks for all the support. I appreciate it. Going out x-country skiing in a little bit so I need to go find my long johns!!

Pat, I am so sorry about your son. I can only guess what you are feeling, I have had friends, boy friends, and family members go through this, but it's been a long time, and when it's your child, you can't imagine what it's like, unless you have been there. You and your family are in my prayers. You have had a lot dumped on you in a short period of time, I admire your strength.

Welcome Roland, glad you found us, nice to see you.

Heu Patti, I too was sorry to hear about your son. I lost a brother to drugs and alcohol. It does terrible things. In moderation its ok but each individual needs to find their own path and it is usually most difficult for those around them as they are literally rendered helpless. Luckily I've seen too much and have a respect for those things. He must actually be quite bright. Most people that use drugs or alcohol use them to slow their brains down as they usually won't shut down. The best medicine is to keep busy physically and mentally. Most true atrists or inventors had problems but back then life was slower and fewer obstacles to endanger them physically. My prayers are with you and your family. Please remember, you can lead the horses to water but they will not drink until they are ready.

Lori, thanks for the welcome. Its nice to be back if only in cyberapace. Yes those viruses are certainly annoying but there are more and more antivirus software arriving on the scene. I try to review as much as I can and install only the best. I'm not a great cyber techno but use it mainly for communications and use the excell programs for company plots etc. Happy New Year to you and yours. Roland

Hi Nancy, great to see you still communicating.

Hi Roland, Happy New Year all...............sorry to hear about your son, Pat, hope he is doing better. I admire all of you raising children in this day in age...........there is so much out there and you only want the best for them and for them to be safe and happy. I guess that is the same our parents went through with us.....I know mine did with us.........my sister was the oldest and the trail blazer for our family. Hope you can get the help with Alanon, there are so many more organizations that are available now, not sure what is up your way. Hang in there!!

Welcome to the blog, Roland!

Patti, I admire your courage. I do think a lot of kids go through a drinking phase, and then, hopefully, most of them grow up and find other interests. My son, Omer, had to do 10 weeks of a drug/alcohol course after he got picked up for driving under the influence of marijuana. I'm glad he had to do that course. I think he learned a lot there, and it seems like it helped. We also went for some family therapy at that time, which also helped a lot. Not everyone likes that kind of thing, but if you do, it's worth it.

Hey everyone. Patti sent me this invite. I found the site via Classmates.Com. Its great to get back in touch. I travel alot and live in the Metro Atlanta area. I love the climate and the thing about southern hospitality really is true. After my parents divorce I decided to take my moms name and also get rid of my first name (which I always detested) and use my middle name of Roland, thus I've been Roland McCarthy for some time. (formerly Bill Guertin) Dad lives in AZ and mom moved back to CT and travels back and forth to see my cousins in Ireland. I currently work as a public relations liaison for a growing company combining my lifes experiences into one useful and productive act. This is a new opportunity I took on in the later part of 02 and love it. We're having our company convention next week in Vegas. I'm not much of a gambler but like the food and shows. I have a cousin that lives there also. My laptops down so I only get on when home on the big ol Compac. All for now. Good to see everyones doing well and such a varied bunch we still are!! Happy New Year!! Roland "Bill"

I am a great believer in a mother's love. I have one boy that would be the last to admit it and two boys that would be lost without it.

I don't really like the saxaphone Richard but I like piano. :) Colin isn't living at home with us these days and so taking on a family challenge while sounds like wonderful idea isn't very do-able. I have discovered that my husband doesn't want to talk about it and thinks this sort of thing while certainly over the top is common place and boys will be boys. He drank a lot when he was this age and like most others Colin will grow out of it. So Alanon may be an outlet for my frustrations and concerns just now. As both his parents are alcoholics I think the fear that this is where our son is simply overwhelms him.

We'll get through this with time and patience and love. Thanks for caring, friends.

Patti, I would have been very scared throughout this and I'm sure it scared your son, but I also get why you say, "fat chance". The challenge with ending an alcohol problem was once described to me as having to find a new area of competence; that in effect drinking is an area of competence where a person gets very good at it. Escaping it as an area of personal excellence requires developing a new area of competence. There are people that become spiritual or connected with social groups that support each other, and I think this works for some- it's what they have chosen to get good at. However, I think underlying success in overcoming personal destruction comes from finding a new or renewed area of personal growth where energy can really be devoted. Maybe that is something your whole family could embrace with Colin, setting expectations for each other to take the time to learn and get better at something you love. Have you ever considered learning the saxophone or rock climbing together (I'm serious- something that would be fun, but also requires the long-term commitment to developing competence). I'm also sure your love is the right place to start and that he's very lucky to have you. He probably knows that too, now.

Patti, sorry to hear about your son. Thank God he's okay now, but it must have been really scary to go through that. Maybe it will be enough to scare him from drinking or at least to cut down on the amount of alcohol. Good luck with your other son if he does need surgery. Avi and I stayed home on New Year's, but our kids all went out, and we're always kind of glad when it's over and everyone's home safe. My 2 oldest ones both had gigs--my son's band played in Santa Monica, and my daughter's band played in West Hollywood. The youngest went with friends to celebrate in Las Vegas. We had a quiet drink at home!

Happy New Year everyone! It's bee a tough few days and we're not out of the woods yet. Colin, our youngest (20 in a couple months), that number means nothing to me in the scheme of momness; drank himself into a coma a couple of nights ago. I spent 10 hours watching and waiting, talking with his friends telling them to smarten up and take better care of each other and themselves. When he woke up enough to be taken off life support he was still so incredibly drunk. He has started out with 6x the legal limit of alcohol in his 131 pound body. 486 was the number they gave me at 5:30 in the morning in the ER. Even in my heavy drinking days I never put away that much. I don't think I know anyone who has. I was told 4 different ways he should be dead. He did aspirate some of his vomit at the hospital and has pnumonia because of it. He was still hung over yesterday morning here at the house. They say he'll be fine but he should never drink again. Fat chance. Then last night Kevin our other son called to say he'd been to the ER in Belfast and has a hernia which may require surgery. The fact that he is 4 1/2 hours away will make it tough to sit by his bedside if he does have the surgery. I'll need to take time off from school. So anyway, what are my New Years' Resolutions? Don't be so critical of others, stay away from gossip, Love the hell out of my boys while I still have them around to love.

That doesn't sound too difficult!

Have Brian over for dinner.

Happy New Year everyone! Good New Year's resolution, John! Anyone else have resolutions?!

I hope everyone has a great New Year's........I plan on ringing it in in Hartford here at the Frist Night celebration..........then over to my neighbors for a after New Year's Eve get together.........take care everyone and have a great time.