Patti, I don't have an answer for that "is not around" question!

Thanks, Richard. Have fun in Montreal. I'm having fun now with my sister Amy--she's visiting from Israel for 10 days. So far we've sat on the beach twice. It was really windy, but still relaxing somehow.

i am going to montreal for the weekend, yahoo, with no kids, yahoo!! gerda is already there. hope the weather stays gorgeous like it is now. lori, the thing that strikes me about all that a person is or is not is that i know how much you adore avi and that is really special. that is very is. spending time with special people transports you to a place that is different from the place that you brought with you. that's the best and only special people can do that!

Happy Weekend Everybody.....my oldest daughter arrived last night as a surprise. She lives in NYC. She came up to visit with her sister and babies. Caleb is excited she brought her guitar. Well, hope all is well with all of you. Its suppose to be a beautiful spring day in Vermont. Happy Thoughts.

Lori how does is not around fit in to the Landmark profile?? ha ha

Wow, Richard, look what you did. You thought the blog was dying, and now you've got everyone writing books on it. I'll just make a short comment right now, though. I'm still involved in courses given by Landmark Forum that I mentioned a while back. Right now I'm in a Relationship Seminar that meets once a week for 10 weeks. Some of the stuff gets repetitive after a while, but basically I've gotten a lot out of these courses. The way they define love is accepting the person for who he is and who he is not. The "is not" part is what I'm working on now!

karen, i went through the same made for tv docu-drama that you did. you know, the reality show where you learn that there is a little a__hole in everyone (even you, even me) and you get to watch it all on tv. i was proud of myself after knowing for way too long that it was coming and proud that i did it the same year that i was supposed to.

a close friend of mine died a couple of weeks ago and her husband is blown away while also accepting the situtation, too. my reason for mentioning it is to say that they absolutely adored each other. both were/are brilliant and wonderful and both had/have MANY shortcomings. the husband once asked his sister-in-law if her heart stopped everytime his brother came into the room. she said, "on a good day." i know his heart stopped everytime my friend came into the room. that was just the way they were. i think it takes a special openness to intimacy and an intuitive awareness that trust is very sexy. one place where they had no shortcomings was in building each other's trust. i think that is maybe the most unselfish thing you can do.

Karen great that you have a doctor with a sense of humor. My portfolio got put on hold until their next meeting next week. I got an email saying I am very sorry...but we ran out of time...I was a little annoyed to say the least! If she hadn't told me it would be Monday I wouldn't have thought anything about it! Oh well...what's another week....I have until Jan 2006 to be Highly Qualified...My daughter and Grandbabies showed up by surprise this morning. They were suppose to have arrived tomorrow night and were leaving NC this morning. So when she called at 6:45 I asked if they had started out early and she said yes but look in the driveway...I thought she was going to say April Fools...but there they were waving from the car. Caleb who is 2 1/2 says Nana I in your driveway...and so the visit begins. Tomorrow my son-in-law will fly back and Neil was suppose to drive them back in 3 weeks...but he is hurting now waiting for a MRI to see if he has a herniated disc...probably job related..driving truck and lifting all these years and he has the ticket to fly back here. So hopefully, things aren't as bad with his back as it may seem right now. Always something ! But I get to hold my little granddaughter who is 3 months and play with Caleb. I am taking tomorrow off to do that!!! I could haved lied and called in sick but no I just said I have to play with the babies! Marriage is hard with any relationship. We all have our ups and downs but personally I wouldn't trade him in or want to break in another husband! But we all have to do what seems best for us. Ultimately, we all have to live with our choices one way or another. I look at my brothers family missing him and know that life is too short! Happy Thoughts.

Okay, my two cents. First off Kathi, good luck on your certification although I know you don't need it as you know what you are doing and I suspect, doing it very well. Pat, I am sorry to hear all that you are going through. I am sure you will weigh how badly you want to work versus your stress/happiness level. You can't put a price on your sanity and health, so don't let them make you feel backed into a corner. Maybe this an opportunity to look at what else you could do that would make you happy and fulfilled. On the subject of being alone and independent ..... its overrated. I have spent every move that we have made alone (with kids, animals and all else) for several months while Rich has gone on to start the new job. Each time I muddle through his "role" and mine and come to feel like I have regained my confidence and independence, then he comes home and innocently says the lawn should be mowed on an angle or something and all hell breaks loose! Bottom line is that it is great to have your own niche but sure nice to share the ups and downs with someone who knows you better than anyone else. A break once in awhile is a good thing and so is growing in a long term relationship. I hope you find the balance that works for you and Dave. Okay, Richard and Lori ....... anything you want to ask Dr. Karen? BTW, my polyp was a non issue ........ so once again, I am a perfect A_ _ hole! When I was at the office of the gastroenterologist I said that I thought it was funny that he shared the suite with the neurologist. He deadpanned me and said "it works out great and once in awhile we collaborate ........... when someone has their head up their A_ _!!!!" I loved it!

Thanks Richard, I remember the Pina Colada song well. It makes a very good point about communication in a relationship. I've talked a little bit about how I feel right now with Dave but it's hard to communicate well over the phone. At least I believe I have sent him the message that we have some work to do. Work worth doing I might add.

The up side on my new position is that the room this program will be housed in has a bathroom. Very exciting as teaching staff rarely get a chance to "hit the head" over the course of the day. The former teacher's lunch room is being converted into use for this In School Suspention Program. The glass is half full.

My bathroom project continues and some day will be complete I hope. I have 6 weeks to get it done but have gotten a bit off track as you might imagine. Electricians and plumbers have done their thing. Every project takes a lot longer once you get into it than you have originally hoped.

Thanks for all the good thoughts everyone!

hi patti, i'm sorry that you have a "please don't pick me" new assignment. i have survived a bunch of changes and i can tell you that there are still more good waves to ride that will be coming in. i'm sure that you have heard the worst. things tend to get better from here forward. as for changes in our relationships with mates, i think it is really difficult to be where we are right now. it's as if the balance that has served as the clockwork for 20+ years needs to get thrown away, we all need time to change some, and then see if it makes sense to be together as the older, more interesting people that we have become. i think people otherwise risk living parallel, minimally connected lives. anyway, i just know it is hard. i heard a funny old song tonight when i was working in the basement. it is about a guy that had tired of his mate and was reading the personals. he finds an interesting listing for a woman that likes many exotic things that are absent from his relationship and he makes the call. when they finally get together it turns out to be his mate who has tired as well and is ready for pina coladas etc. it's a catchy little number.

paraprofessionals are the new term for teachers aide's which became Education Technicians which become paraprofessionals. Here in Maine the Ed Techs who don't have at least a 2yr degree or bunches of college credits are taking a class and then an exam to become parafessionals. It's nonsense. All coming out of the whole No Child left Behind Plan. People who have been working for years and years are suddingly having to prove they know what they're doing.

Although I work as a Ed Tech I have the degree + so I don't have to worry about being a parapro.

Dave will be away another 6 weeks.

In school suspension is a program that is being created to keep students from being sent out of or away from school in situations where, based on their behavior it has been deemed necessary to keep them out of the classroom, from in fact being sent out of school. These students would be made to spend their time in "my" classroom where they would be responsible for whatever work would have taken place in the clasroom so that they are not behind. It also keeps that out of the mall and away from the TV. they are kept away from their peers. No socializing, lunch in the room etc. A sort of potentially negative way to spend my day dontcha think?

I am agreeing to this position with the proviso that if something else more appealing comes up I would be given first dibs. for th good of the district however I'm sure I won't be allowed to walk away from this once it's finalized. Trust me people are not in line saying pick me!

I am a Kindergarten Classroom Paraprofessional, which is another name for teachers aide. I am hoping that all goes well with the portfolio....we'll see. Patti, what grade level are you working with? Elementary? High School, where the kids are bigger then you???? When does your husband get back? Mine might have a ruptured disc...waiting to get a MRI done and go from there....My daughter and Grandbabies are coming Wednesday. I am so excited. My son-in-law is driving with them as far as Bradley Airport and flying back to work on their addition. Neil is suppose to drive back with them in 3 weeks and fly home on the 26th. I hope!!!!! This has been the plan for 2 months, we'll see! Anyways, weather is suppose to get in the 60s this week. I told my daughter to bring the southern sunshine home with her! Happy Thoughts to all.

Too bad about the job, Patti. Are you taking that other one? What's "in school suspension"? Detention?

Kathi, I'm not clear on what your job is. What exactly do you do at the school?

Well it's official. I've lost my position in the computer lab as of the end of this school year. Another person with seniority and who was displaced from her position has been put in place. I have been offered a job as the person in charge of in school suspension. Certainly sounds like an atmosphere I'd like to spend all day in.

Oh well.

Out of sight out of mind. HMMMMMM

Why is it that the weekends fly by???? Besides the point that we lost an hour. I have passed in my Portfolio. Because of the No Child Left Behind Act I have had to document my Knowledge as a Paraprofessional to become "Highly Qualified" at my job. (You must have an Associates Degree or be highly qualified). I know my ability at my job of 18 years but to put it down on paper to be judged by a committee is quite frightening. Luckily, they are meeting tomorrow and I'll know by Tuesday if I have shown proof of knowing how to be a skilled Para. I guess it'll be the satisfaction that I can prove I know my job not that it pays any different or changes anything other then having a little certificate. As of Jan. 8, 2006, our superintendent is following the "letter of the law" and terminating any employee that is not "highly qualified". Needless to say, can you imagine what will happen when one on one paras are done on that day...the teachers will go crazy! We'll see what happens... Opening up and sharing somethings are hard to do....go Karen! Anyways, I enjoy "listening" to all of you. Happy Thoughts!

That's beautiful, Patti--that we're your past and your present.

There are 2 of those sayings--"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "Out of sight, out of mind." They're contradictory, and I've never been sure which one I believe more. Both seem to be true, sometimes one more than the other.

I don't believe the blog is dying. Merely quiet occassionally. Certainly there are fewer of us and yes, I think as always there are those who read but do not chime in. Whatever suits you I guess.
For me, as Lori knows, I've been in a very self centered place for a while now as I fight to keep my job at school and wonder about my marriage. You know that saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Not so much. At least not for me. The next seven weeks are going to be very trying while I wrap my head around the idea of being married with spouse again. I've felt like a single woman for quite a while now and have not enjoyed it. 4 months separation has not been good for Dave and I. Though the idea that I can just be the little woman again doesn't appeal. The job is changing because of displaced personnel with more seniority and better credencials than me. I have only taught in the computer lab for 4 years but it is where my passions is and I have been blessed with waking up excited to go to work. How many of us can honestly say that. I will work it out.

I always come back here to keep grounded. You guys are my past and my present. You remind me of the girl I once was and help me with the woman I am now.

So keep it coming folks. You have my heart.

It's happened a few times in the past that the blog almost died, and then someone managed to resuscitate it. I identified with what all of you said. Richard, you managed to put your finger on a problem I have, too--finding something interesting to say without exposing myself too much. I wouldn't have a problem saying certain things on a one-on-one basis, but it's harder for me to say those things in "public." I guess I'm still stuck in that high school mode, like Karen said, where I'm afraid of being judged or criticized. I'm always glad to see what others have written, no matter how short or long--and nothing's boring, Kathi. It's just nice to have that contact with all of you. When you describe the snow in Springfield, I feel like I'm there. For me, the question is not so much why the blog is dying down, but why we've managed to keep it going for so long. That's what amazes me. We must all be getting something out of it even if we're holding certain things back. I don't think it's politics we're missing here, but do we dare to raise the bar a little and move on to slightly deeper and more personal things? You don't have to say yes because I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Whatever anyone wants to write is fine with me. I think I've just gotten addicted to the blog. I feel like I have to check it every day. I don't always have something to say, but I like reading whatever is there. So keep writing even if it's just to say hi!

Karen, you're brave for having a colonoscopy. All I can handle at this point are pap smears and mammograms.

You know Richard, its funny that you wrote what you did because I had just been trying to analyze why the blog is dying out. I wondered if it was because no one really hits on those meatier issues, current events and politics and weighs in, but I am not sure that is what people are looking for here. And being that this is a high school site we may revert back to old habits and want everyone to like us, whether we are 18 or 50, so taking a stand feels risky. Maybe the common thread of SHS is not enough, but my kids say that I will talk to anyone .... always finding some poor innocent person in a grocery store or Lowes. I think there are a lot of members out there that read the blog but don't write and I wish that would change. I am like Kathi, I like to hear what people are doing and once in awhile feel the need to share something. Which brings me to my topic ......... colonoscopy!!! Yes, yours truly had the wonderful experience this past Friday. If you can get through the prep (which has improved considerably) the rest is forgotten. My nurse did fish around on my hand for five minutes to get a good vein though. So just wanted to tell everyone to get screened, its not that bad. See I did that without even making any butt jokes! By the way Richard, thanks for calling us beautiful ......... at 50 I will take that any time I can get it!! Blog on .......