First off Pat, you have to have a mailman who delivers right to your door....then hope hes not on missed on his route. ....and then think Happy Thoughts.....

Well it's 2 O'clock on a Saturday, how long do I have to wait???

I don't know. Richard's the expert on the mailmen/women strategy. He pulls them in by the hair.

I like your idea Lori! Where is my mailman when I need him?

Sorry, don't take me too seriously. I'm just being silly.

I think we all need a good balance of space and "together" time. The problem is that our particular balance doesn't always match our partner's-- one is ready to be together while the other one still needs space. Then what do you do? Run off with the mailman/mailwoman and eat burgers with your hands?

OK, well, I used to own that book. Read it, through it out. Did not buy any of the follow ups. What a dinglebery that guy is.

However, call it what you want; I need my own space. My "cave", my den, my workroom. I go in there and do my thing. computer, sewing, knitting, TV, reading, whatever. It turns out in fact to be a place I can make my mess in and leave it where it lays. It's right there when I go back. It doesn't mean no one can come in too but it doesn't happen very often. I enjoy it.

Dave and I are both reading a book on communication between men and women. It's written by a women who is a linquist. Pretty interesting and seems to be fairly accurate from what I can see so far. It's doesn't say we're different kinds of people so much as we say and hear things differently. so it's important to be clear with your message; say what you mean and mean what you say. Oh I just wrote a best seller!!

i left out the best part. she grew up in springfield.

empathy, love each other, and drink lots of water. that is the secret. i did not tell you what the scientifically measurable 2% difference in communication between women and men is. it would be when you toy with me, tossing caveman characterizations out there for me to pound my chest and stomp on them. i want you to know that i just dragged the mailwoman, by her hair, upstairs to my computer to read our blog and she agrees that portrayals of male communication as being on the evolutionary path that led to troglodytes is way overstated. if she doesn't know about communication, then who would? we both took a break and ate raw bronto burgers with our hands, so there. it is not just a guy thing. she actually told me that the grunting noises that i make when i chew make her hot.

Richard, somehow I had a feeling the cave thing would get you going! Okay, so there are no caves and we're both from earth and just need to be empathic and love each other?!! Can you write the next chapter? In the meantime, I'm going to Kathi's cave.

Obviously I did not read the book so thank you for the condensed version! Wherever I was, I was iced in for the day which was great. I ended up making bread and valentines. Don't you love how the days are getting longer, makes it so you know that winter will go away! Have a great day everyone...Happy Thoughts.............

lori is right, kathi. today, you are in what is called an igloo. you cannot be a women or talk with women when you are in a man-cave and you have to have a penis that has no obvious use when you are in there. if you are in a fishing shanty and you have a penis that is different because then you do not have to talk to women and you still get to pee all those good canadian beers away. the man-cave is special. it is when a guy gets to live in his head and gets to tell chicks he is really just in his "cave." hmmmmmm, that would be the cave behind his eyes. the guy who wrote that book is so full of it. women are not from venus. do you know any women who claim to be linked to the monthly effects of moon activity on your planet, venus. no. there are no natural satellites orbiting venus. none. the only bodies orbiting it are the ones we have placed there, such as nasa's magellan radar satellite. our radar signals have penetrated the atmosphere of venus and reveal a very complex and tortured terrain. would you call that a babe magnet? i would not. are men from mars? that would be the place that it takes 17 months to reach by modern transport. does your cave-dude want to be in his isolation chamber for 17 frickin monthes to get back to his special cave-place? if he does, you will have plenty of time to pack, move out, get a new life, find a new idiot, and start your new path toward bliss. we are from earth. women are from earth and men are from earth. our scientifically measurable needs from communication differ from each other by 2%. we must be one sensitive type of animal to have launched this hero up the pop charts for a 2% difference. figure out how to really love and understand your man and expect nothing less from him. we are all sooooo worth it.

Kathi, the cave is supposed to be where the men hang out when they need some space from us, so maybe you're in something else, not a cave! And, Richard, you are not in your cave when you're being so communicative!

I get to be here in my cave all day....snow day...actually, ice day. So No school! Sometimes even the thought of making up the day at the end of June doesn't change the fact that I love SNOW DAYS. I subbed most of last week and Monday, so feeling the need to destress and today will be perfect! What to do, what to do......I'm sure I'll come up with something. Have a great day.....I am empathic to you who don't get a snowday!
Happy Thoughts...............

hi, i am in my cave. hope you are all doing okay with your waves. i think the funniest thing that was based on the book is when marge simpson tells homer that she is from venus and he is from mars- homer complains, "oh sure, give me the one with all the monsters on it." i mentioned having seen the actor who does the voice of homer in a broadway play recently. he sure didn't sound like homer in that and his character was definitely from the planet with all of the monsters on it (earth). by the way, i think communication is an effect, not a cause. i think empathy is the place you start.

I read that book, Karen, and I agree, it was pretty accurate--especially the part about men going into their caves.

Patti, I think she recommended a male therapist cuz of the transference thing, which means that if I have any issues with my father, they'll get transferred onto the therapist and then they can be dealt with. I went yesterday for the first time. I liked him--he's smart and sensitive and catches on fast (to say nothing of being good-looking!).

Lori why did your friend recommend a male therapist? Must have had a reason. I'm curious. I know what you mean about developing a relationship with your therapist. I've been talking with a female psychologist for over a year now and she is ending her practice the last of Feb. She is ill though she doesn't say in what way and I will miss her very much. I think of her as a friend and confidant and it will change my life when she is no longer available to me.

Did you notice that blogger is now available in Hebrew?

Patti, thanks for trusting us enough to be open with us about how the counseling is going. I was going to ask about it, but I'm never quite sure when it's okay to ask and when the other person will think I'm pushing my nose into his/her business. Anyway, it sounds like you have a good therapist and that it's going well. We're still going to couples therapy. We've gotten so attached to her that sometimes, when I think of stopping, I can't imagine not having her in our lives anymore. She's like a good friend who also tells us about her sons, grandchildren, etc.--when it's relevant. Now I'm thinking of going for individual therapy, too, to deal with some of my old insecurities that never seem to go away. A therapist friend of mine in Israel said I should go to a MALE therapist for this, so I'm thinking about it....