Sorry, that blog came out twice and I can't seem to delete it.

one of the things i ask myself when i see how a person behaves is to take a guess about how they found their first success. i have a bias to believe that the way a person first finds success becomes a model approach for almost all future attempts at success. many of the situations that you are talking about from the terrorists that play tag too hard to the anarchists that drop things on the floor with vengeful disregard found way too much success with their first hissy fit, in my opinion. we are a overly child-centric, hissy-fit rewarding generation of parents in my opinion. the control through chaos that is won through these approaches really scorches my ass, it is not the chaos in itself that irritates me. of course, i just got off a plane where two small children screamed at the top of their lungs from charlotte nc all the way to nyc. we landed and then got parked in the penalty box for twenty minutes waiting for a gate to open and the two screamed much, much louder. the whole time many appeasements were offered. it was like club med for small screaming infants. they just never found the mai tai that could stem the tide of requesting the next best offer.

Personally I see no reason why kids can't pick up after themselves. We have the Kindergarteners clean up after themselves and even (imagine) hang up their own backpacks and jackets. Have one that thinks he can get away with just throwing it on the bench and walking away...he'll learn soon! The parent does everything for this kid, so he doesn't see where it is his responsibility. I told him his homework was to learn how to zip his coat. Can't wait for winter when there are boots and snowpants to go with the jacket! I did my part today cleaning up.....there was someones dog poop all over the bottom of the slide. I went and got papertowels and cleaned it off....imagine, I didn't call the janitor out! Wonder if that was on my job description???? lol.........Unless you are there in the schools seeing what is going on with todays kids you have no idea. Time for parents to take back some of the responsibility of educating their children on the "real" world. I am so glad it is Friday! Have a great weekend everybody. Do something fun for YOU! Happy Thoughts...............

Tough call Lori. Respectful tones and words will go a long way between both parties. I try to be compassionate when I'm talking with my students whatever the issue. I think that's important. Sometimes power seems to be a problem. Both sides want it.

I don't know the answer.

I'm not really around kids that age very much, so I guess I didn't realize they play tag in a different way than we did. What will be next--Hide and Go Seek?! Maybe that's too dangerous, too, the way things are going. Kids today don't seem to have any fear of authority. I've heard how they talk back to teachers and principals. I don't think that's good, obviously, but on the other hand, I think I was TOO afraid of authority and didn't stand up for myself enough. How do you teach kids the right balance?

Kathi's right about the kids on the playground. The level of violence is apalling. We've had to separate the three grades, 6, 7, & 8 to different time outdoors so they don't interact. Even so, it shocks me sometimes to see how they hurt each other physically, to say nothing of what they say to one another.

In the cafeteria yesterday I asked a 13 year old boy if he knew where all the pizza topping on the floor next to him had come from. He told me it had fallen off his pizza and he just figured a custodian would clean it up. Not him though, no sir. He was mystified when I handed him a pile of napkins and made him do it himself. Couldn't imagine why he should. That's very common. The floor is littered with wrappers, milk bottles, and food. They spill drinks and just laugh. Many, if not most just expect someone else to take care of it.

Lori, I think the tag issue is because kids don't play tag the way we did! They are overly aggressive on the playground. Our kids can't just play tag at recess either....they do play those games a more controlled environment, like PE!
Richared, We always love them, just don't understand them! Mine actually like me now and just call to chat which is nice. Maybe they don't really change, maybe we just change our reactions and the way we respond to them.
I had my kidney stones blasted with ultrasound...Lythotrypsy...they drug you up, put you in a huge bathtub and zap the stones (hopefully) with lazer. This way it makes the stones small enough to pass! again, Hopefully! That's one of the reasons they tell you to drink so much water.. keeping the kidneys flushed makes it harder to make stones. Some people make too much calcium in their bodies and some are caused by too much caffine....It is truthfully an unpleasant experience so I would recommend the water drinking!
Pat, sorry about your mother-in-law. Its hard when one sibling is more responsible in the caring process, unfortunately, that happens often. You'll look back and be glad that you did all that you could do to keep dignity in the last part of her life.
Happy Thoughts...............

Karen, you're right not to suggest surfing to your son. I do worry about my son surfing. It's better when I don't know what he's up to.

What you said about the banks not allowing Halloween masks reminds me of something I read in the news lately about schools forbidding kids to play tag. I know kids can fall down and get hurt, but isn't that going a little too far??? No tag???

Karen, I prefer the move out west to where Dave's sisters both live. I'll be they have some dandy faciities out near San Francisco. To be brutally honest if not a bit cold, I don't want our next move to include bringing mom along. I'm sure if it was my mother I'd feel differently. I'll admit to that.

Dave is looking at Sept. of 07 for a move to Bangor unless something opens up before that. I'll have to decide before the next school year whether I'm coming back or not. It wouldn't be right for me to start the school year and not stay. That'll be tough. I've been here 11 years now. 3rd position in the same building. I'm a fixture.

kathi, you are so right. my older son is like 10 kidney stones! we spent some time together today and i can definitely say that he is getting better all the time (he used to be like many more kidney stones). i do think that things are brighter than parents like me can see sometimes. i love 'em- nuff said!

Kevin and Dave drove all over New England on the college tour and then Kev just went to a school he'd shown no interest in and didn't tour. Go figure. Course he only stayted a semester and I'm not sure he went to any classes after the first couple of weeks. That was a bunch of years ago and he never went back. Colin didn't tour and attended one and a half semesters but he too didn't stay with school.

Touring didn't happen for me; I don't remember that being a option that kids did. I just went off to CSC and thought everyone just sort of picked a school out of the catalogs in the guidance office. Was there more to it? OOPS

The surgery went well but medically Dave's mom is not doing well. She was moved to a rehab ctr. this morning but she won't comply. I was afraid of this and hope there is a way for them to get through to her. She has been evicted from her room in the extended living center and now has nowhere to go. She doesn't know this and won't until the social workers decide she is ready to leave rehab. Either because she can or because she must. Non-compliance means the center gives up eventually because they can't do anything to help the patient. We are looking a various nursing home options now. This will not go over well with her but we won't be saying anything until we have to.

Really funny how all the kids are so different. Eventually, they do all find their way. Some need more tough love then others. Sometimes we are just too close to see how much they are like us and we all want more for our kids then we had/have. Personally, I am glad to be done with that stage of parenthood. My son called this morning to tell me he was on his way home to his apartment after being at the hospital for 4 hours with a kidney stone. He told me how painful it was (I can relate after having them myself)....I was sympathic, wanting to tell him to multiply that by 10 and that was childbirth! He called tonight to tell me that it had passed and was feeling much better. So, even though he's adult, it can still be stressful on a parent. Good luck on the college stuff...Happy Thoughts..........

I like the way you put that, Richard--the blow-apart option!

When I was applying to colleges, I applied to 3. One accepted me, one rejected me, and one put me on the waiting list. It was an easy decision--I went with the one that wanted me.

hi, the searching for college thing has been okay with my younger son and probably typical to what a lot of kids do. my older son has taken two years off and is now in his first semester at a local college, so that didn't take any hunting around. the difference for me between the two has been a case of either growing apart or blowing apart. the older has always walked too close to the blow apart option of leaving home and the younger is on the grow apart path. the older one will probably still be at home for the next 52 years with that threatened explosion always only a moment away. if so, i will go find a college for me and leave home, too.

Just been thinking about some of you working hard to help your kids find the right college. I guess my kids saved us time and money as far as education goes! Not that I'm saying that's a good thing; that's just the way it worked out. The 2 older ones studied music for one semester (one at Cal Arts and the other at CSUN) and decided they didn't like studying music in a framework. So that was the extent of their college experience. Our youngest studied marketing and merchandising at a 2-year college in downtown L.A. So we don't really know what it's like to go through that whole college-searching experience with kids!

Glad to hear he likes Santa Monica, Karen. How about surfing? Has he tried that? My son Omer lives in Santa Monica. He's obsessed with surfing. It's his therapy.

Lori, Nolan likes Santa Monica alot and his new job is going well. He was somewhat familiar with the area because he spent time doing a co op out there for Warner Bros. Online. Now he is looking forward to having enough money to buy a good bicycle to ride along the coast. He is in temporary housing and will probably have a great bike and no furniture when he gets his own place ... priorities of youth!

karen, vermont has nothing special (yet) in hockey either. i sat through a uvm loss saturday night. i will say that they are fast on their skates. they just seem oblivious to the fact that there is a puck involved in the game. good luck with applications and visits and thanks for the tips on some to consider. i wish we had done a few college visits sooner. it would have helped my son to focus a bit more on what matters by knowing why he should. good call on the birdhouse!

Richard, if you are driving cross country, you may want to check out Univ of Cincinnati's DAAP college (Design, Art, Architecture and Planning). Also,Miami University (Oxford, OH) and Perdue have programs so we did those tours a few years back. Each of those schools has a different flavor. I will be right behind you buddy in the college tours and believe me I won't sleep in the car either. We will be hitting NY, PA, RI and MI ... thats alot of miles! Right now we are just trying to get the applications in by deadlines.

Finally turned on our heat this weekend. Its in the high 30's this morning. Our time in the GA mtns was fun but it really didn't remind me of VT that much. I bought a bird house that has a VT license plate as the roof and a maple leaf on the front. It was a toss up between that and the KY one, but my friends said I should be loyal to my roots so had to go with VT ... if only they had a good basketball or football team, damn!

hi, i have been college touring with my son, thomas. we drove 24 hours of the last 72. we spanned from boston to buffalo. he is interested in architecture and we and he had a good chance to see a lot up close. he is also a great one to travel with. univ. at buff. did not interest him, so rather than taking the afternoon tour we headed for niagra falls. we were howling in the maid of the mist boat ride beneath the falls, hiked around, and headed for other places. now i am pretty beat. as the driver, i did not sleep in the car the way he did. i may go watch the baseball bame if i think my mind is up to it.